One Lifetime, One Life at a Time – Part Two
I’m excited to share part two of Angie Webber’s hope story this week. If you missed part one, you can read it here first.
Marriage
On the heels of my brokenness over my abortion in 1986, God knew exactly what I needed. Five months after the hardest days of my life, a man named Jeff came into my world through a blind date.
It wasn’t your typical date. Not only was he two hours late, but he took me to his home for dinner to meet his parents, two brothers, and his precious one-year-old son, Daniel, whom he had custody of.
Two weeks after our blind date, Jeff asked me to marry him, and we have currently been married for thirty-two years.
Adoption Part 2
Although obstacles prevented me from adopting Daniel when he was younger, God knew who raised him, and Daniel knew who his mother was, and we left our hope there.
Daniel is now thirty-three years old and, since adopting an adult is legal in this country, as of summer 2019, I am now his legal mother.
I was able to do for him what my mom did for me.
God rescued me and saved me from myself when He sent Jeff and Daniel into my life. Jeff loved me, and oh, how I needed to know a man could love a broken heart like mine.
Then God added His grace by entrusting me with Daniel, who has grown into a fine young man.
Medical Issue
After Jeff and I married, and life seemed to be turning in the right direction for me, I hit yet another bump in the road. I had hopes of having a child of my own but as time wore on, no baby.
After many medical tests and attempts, still no baby. I relied on the verse that says, “I will give you the desires of your heart.” Still, the miscarriages came, and my hope seemed to die. After more than six years of failed attempts, desperation set in for the deep hole within me to be filled.
One evening when I was home alone, I got on my knees and prayed with all my heart, “Dear Lord, please give me a child, it’s what I want most in the world. If you give me a child, I will go back to church, quit smoking, and live life right.”
About two weeks later, I woke up one morning sick. After not feeling well a few days, I went to the doctor, only to be told I was a few weeks pregnant. Jeff and I were overwhelmed with joy. I was sick for nine months but after many obstacles, I held the fruit of my womb, our son Charles.
Depression
Now it was up to me to fulfill my part of the deal I had made with God.
It wasn’t easy, but after I found an amazing, supportive church, I managed to quit smoking.
While holding my baby boy would seem to most to have filled the gaping hole in my being, it did not. He was the most handsome little guy and oh, how I loved him. But there was something deeper.
My husband was in the Navy so I was on my own a lot.
Marriage was hard, motherhood was hard, and walking with God was even harder.
I know most people looking from the outside think walking with the Lord is all bliss. Well, I am here to tell you, it’s not. Not when there’s so much baggage to deal with.
Once we knew we could have children, we hoped to try for a little girl. My husband nor I had sisters so a little girl was high on our list of hopes. But instead of babies, I experienced more miscarriages. I was crushed.
The pain of my abortion many years earlier weighed upon my shoulders once again.
It’s so hard to leave this burden at the feet of Jesus and not pick it up again, yet I rested in the fact that God would give us the desire of our hearts.
I was forcing myself to believe God knew what was best. In April of 07, I was pregnant again. YES!!!
And again, I miscarried.
I remember sobbing while squeezing my legs tighter to keep the pregnancy from ending.
My heart ripped from my chest.
I quickly went to see my doctor and told her I just couldn’t endure the loss anymore. We agreed to let my body rest for six months after which, I would have a complete hysterectomy. Talk about hope dying.
At my post-op appointment, my doctor explained there would have been no way I could have had another child. There was so much gland tissue in the uterine wall, she didn’t know how I carried my son to full term. But we know, don’t we?
The more I learn about abortion, the more I’m convinced my late term abortion in 1986 destroyed my inner parts. But God granted mercy. He helped us conceive, He sustained my baby in the womb every day while he grew, and gave me my son.
Don’t miss the final installment of Angie’s story next week as she shares about her and her husband’s call to foster care and adoption.
Join the conversation. Can you relate to Angie’s experience of being brokenhearted even though she knew she was loved by God? If so, what encouragement would you offer to someone experiencing that kind of pain?
Ms. Angie is a Christian woman navigating her way to eternity in a broken world. She is a daughter, wife, mother, friend, and actor. All these titles have so many different meanings, yet they’re all apart of God’s story for her life. She has parents who love her dearly, a husband to whom she’s been married since 1987, two amazing sons and daughters-in-law, a precious adopted princess, and the most charming grandson. Angie recently followed her dream and began a new adventure in acting. Her prayer is that her journey will encourage you through yours.
Connect with Angie:
Deena Adams
As a Jesus girl for more than thirty years, Deena Adams understands how important hope is to daily life, which fuels her passion to inspire others through hope-filled fiction based on true to life stories. She is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency and is a multi-award-winning writer, an active ACFW member, and ACFW Virginia president. Connect with Deena through her website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
28 Comments
Audra Sanlyn
What an amazing story. I’m so glad God blessed you with both an adopted son and a biological son. I know this will bring hope to so many. 🙂
Angie Kay
Thank you, I do hope that many will feel encouraged from my journey.
And in part three there is one more blessing from the Lord. Hope you get a chance to read the rest of the story.
Ms. Angie
Deena Adams
Thanks for reading and joining the conversation, Audra! Your support and encouragement is such a blessing.
Melissa Henderson
Thank you for sharing your story. I believe your words will help people.
Angie Kay
Thank you for your encouragement
Deena Adams
Thanks for reading, Melissa, and for joining the conversation. I too believe Angie’s willingness to be vulnerable and share her story will help others.
Angie Kay
Thank you Deb for your service to the Crisis Pregnancy Center. I attempted to work and volunteer there, however it was too heavy for me. The spiritual warfare was intense and balancing life with that was just more than I could take, however the experience led me to a post abortion class that I valued very much. However it was as difficult as one might expect.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Ms. Angie
Deb Gorman
I hear you about the work being heavy. I can’t imagine trying to volunteer there having experienced what you have. I’m glad it led you to just what you needed at the time.
I thought, when I first considered volunteering there, that I had nothing to offer the guys and gals, since my life experience was so disparate from theirs. I thought I wouldn’t be able to empathize. But, what I found was that my students didn’t need empathy as much as they needed my “maturity”…oh, that makes me sound old! What they needed was for me to encourage them to keep pressing on, to find joy in their little ones, and to constantly remind them Who else walks at their side. The Gospel of Jesus Christ permeates the air during our discussions, without me even saying anything overtly. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.
I pray God will give you His brand of success as you seek to obey Him, and that someday we can share a cup of Celestial tea and swap stories.
Deb Gorman
Thank you, Deena and Angie, for sharing this testimony of God’s amazing grace. I can’t get enough of hearing how God works in the lives of other people.
I haven’t walked your road, Angie, but I have been broken by circumstances, some of my own creation, and others beyond my control. Jesus the Christ met me when I was 14, and through thick and thin, has never left my side.
Currently, in addition to being an author of devotionals and almost ready to complete my first novel, I volunteer at our local crisis pregnancy center. We support men and women who have chosen life for their unexpected/unplanned pregnancies, in addition to offering resources for post-abortion counseling.
I am mentoring 7 young ladies and their partners. We go through video classes, share stories (my children are all in their 40’s and I have 23 grandchildren, so my students view me as some kind of expert…I tell them every day’s a new day when you have kids.)
The really cool part is getting to pray for these young ladies and their babies. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I hope to see each one of these parents and their children at the Table some day.
Thanks again for being transparent. So many men and women need to hear your story. 🙂
Deena Adams
Deb, thanks so much for reading and joining the conversation. And thank you for your work at the crisis pregnancy center. So important. I participate in our local walk for life each year for the crisis pregnancy center so I know the wonderful work that goes on and how the gospel is spread through their services.
Angie Kay
I often wish there were Crisis Pregnancy Centers when I found myself faced with this. To have someone to show me a different perspective and to be able to see my baby I am sure that I would have made a better choice.
Deb Gorman
Indeed, it makes a difference to many moms and dads when they see their baby on ultrasound. And it’s so, so important to give them life options and to show support. They often don’t have family or community support when they make the choice for life, and then, of course, there’s the other side saying abortion is the only way, the responsible way.
In my town, our clinic is almost directly across the street from the Planned Parenthood facility. Interesting, huh?
Angie Kay
That is interesting Deb, some day I may go stand outside of a planned parenthood. I would be able to really speak into what they are feeling and I loved what you said about they needed your maturity. That is exactly right. I am preparing a future blog post on my site called Abortion Steals. It is really rubbing on all these wounds, and even reading my story through Deena’s eyes leaves me in tears. The feelings and emotions are as fresh today as they were three decades ago.
I would love to sit some day and have a cup of tea with you. I know we all have our traumas in life, and while all trauma is different it’s path of destruction is often the same. I look forward to jumping on your website, I found it on your Facebook page and read some of your post.
Deena Adams
Angie, I’m sorry your wounds are being rubbed through the sharing of your story on my blog and your emotions are so fresh. I pray God will meet you in your pain and minister to you in a way that leaves you refreshed and renewed in His amazing love and grace. Also, you are not reading your story through my eyes, but through your own. I only shared the words and emotions you sent to me. God is using you and your transparency to help others. Thanks again for your willingness to open up so honestly.
Angie Kay
Thank you Deena, I am surprised how much I still feel all these emotions. I have left this part of my life in the Lord’s hands many times and I always seem to pick it back up and try to control how the story goes. And the Lord always gently waits for me to put it back down. There is no greater thing I have cried for more than this part of my life. Many tears have been shed, and i am sure that it is all part of the healing process.
Even though its so hard to walk this road, I am thankful that I am on this journey. It has been a long time coming and i only pray that the Lord will use it for his glory.
Deb Gorman
My road has been different than yours, but if I may, I’ll share some of it.
My only sister committed suicide as a married mother of two boys. She was thirty-two, three years younger than me. It was universe-shifting day for me and the rest of my family.
The thing that’s hardest for me to deal with, and the thing I keep “picking up” is that I was supposed to meet her for coffee after a conference I’d attended in Bellevue. She lived nearby. But I forgot. I left town and went back home. She called me that evening and told me she’d waited in the coffee shop for three hours for me. Of course, I apologized and asked her what she’d wanted to talk to me about. She said it was nothing.
One month later, she was gone. That phone conversation was the last I had with her. I often wonder if she would’ve told me how she was feeling and if I could’ve helped her.
I have blogged on my website about it. It was thirty-one years ago this last March, but it still feels like yesterday. And it was just about thirty years before I could even write about it.
God tells me He’s taking care of her. I hang my hat on that.
I hope it’s okay that I shared that, but like you said, our trauma may be widely divergent, but the emotions we experience are similar. The joy of being human. 🙂
Deena Adams
Deb, I’m so sorry about your sister. That has to be so incredibly hard. Thanks for sharing your pain with us and I’m thankful you’re able to talk about it now. That truly is an open door to healing.
Angie Kay
Oh Deb, how I know the suffering of guilt and grief at the same time. Yes, much like post abortion moms, it is so hard to feel the guilt because the grief feels so much self imposed. We so often take on responsibilities that belong to God. There is such a bigger picture. A dear friend once told me that we go through our hardships so that God can use us to help others, and while there is some comfort there, I myself have not found complete comfort in the balance of the two emotions.
I know this for sure, that this moment in my life keeps me at the side of my God. Like the sheep that the shepherd had to break its leg so that it would stop wandering from the fold, the Lord broke me and I do not dare wander far for the comfort of my guilt and grief flee. This moment in time leaves me like the two who hung on the cross next to Jesus, today we will be in paradise, I believe that God will deliver me/us from this on the day we arrive in eternity. But until then the battle continues, but we know the war is won.
Deb Gorman
You’re welcome, Deena! I loved reading this beautiful story. And thank you for your support in your area. The pandemic has changed our process for awhile-we haven’t been able to meet in person, but my students are receiving lessons digitally, and we text each other at least weekly. They send me pics of their little ones. I feel like my “grandmothering” has expanded. 🙂
Deena Adams
Deb, how wonderful that you’re still able to stay in touch with the moms who need your grandmothering. Prayerfully, things can get back to normal soon and you can once again meet in person. Very interesting that the CPC is directly across from Planned Parenthood. Praise God He’s positioned a voice for life just where it’s needed!
Davd
Thank you, Deena, for showing this part of Angie’s so important journey.
Deena Adams
I’m honored to share her story. Thanks for reading, Dave.
Traci
Oh Angie, my heart! While I’ve not experienced your heartbreak, my life has not been unscathed. Focusing on and pouring your heart out to God is the only way to survive, and eventually thrive. Thank you for the reminder, and pointing us to our Abba. Anticipating the next installment! ❤
Deena Adams
Traci, thanks so much for reading and joining the conversation. I too love how Angie points is to Jesus amid pain and heartache. May God be glorified through her story!
Angie Kay
Thank you for your encouragement, Yes, God is the only reason I get through each day. And even then some days are harder than other. My full story will be shared on my website in the coming months, I hope you will stop in to read. msangieslifetime.com
Deena Adams
Thanks for reading, Teresa! God’s Grace and mercy shine through Angela’s story and you’ll be blessed just as much next week by the final post.
Teresa Moyer
Oh my heart ached for you reading this. I can’t wait for the rest of your story!
Angie Kay
God wins in the end, The heartbreaks today will fade in the light of my savior. I can’t wait for that day.